Arjun goes to Janpath

One day after I finally get to go back to India for a visit , I will wake up at around nine and think about how waking up in India is different from waking up in the US. It is not some emotional sap, it just is. You know it. It is a fact. I will  get dressed and ask my brother how to get to Janpath, cause frankly I have forgotten how to. I will then board whatever bus number (I am thinking 522) he tells me to (I also can't drive in Delhi cause I have never driven in India) and get off near the last stop on K.G Marg, and nudge my way through the by-lane that houses several halwais and second hand book sellers to emerge in what is  Janpath , The people's lane. I will promptly cross the road jump the divider, cross the road again and reach the busting market where every college kid in the city  gets their clothes from. I will squeeze my way through the crowd, all the youngsters yelling "Bhaiyya, yeh to chori hai" and the shopkeepers  saying "Boni nahi hui, to kum kaise kar sakte hai" and walk to the guy I used to go to when I was a broke college kid and ask him how much for a pair of jeans. Then when he tells me the price, the enormity of the truth of how long I have been away will hit me like a lightning bolt and I will fall down on the ground laughing, like a crazy person. 

The Heart is a Butterfly

Much like Mansoor Khan , erstwhile Bollywood director of films like Akele Hum Akele Tum , Qayamat se Qayamat Tak etc I want a organic farm of my own in the hills of a South Indian hill town where the local tribals, garbed in shawls and monkey caps ,with folded hands would call me "Ayya" when I go out for my morning jog when the mist has yet not been conquered by the late sun of the hills. I will make my own cheese, honey, jam and bread and sell it to charcuteries and patisseries in the city. In the thin mountain air I will contemplate life and live the simplistic life of a self sufficient hermit.

I want to buy a large hiking/camping bag the kind European bag packers use when they go to Thailand and Indonesia , and I want to go to the south of France and hike around till I can finally advance from reading to speaking French. I want to grow out my beard so rough that people mistake me for a hermit or a Sikh. I want to make stop overs at Budapest , Spain and Italy and Poland. I will seek out and become an apprentice to a master vintner who has seven words in his name two of which are "de la". He must be the kind who actually puts the dirt in his mouth to see if the grapes are ready for plucking and can tell the time by the position of the sun. It would definitely help if he has an unwed daughter who, complete with her own subplot, yearns to a female matador.

I will then go to Argentina and learn jiujitsu and participate in underground cage fights with Brazilian Army Veterans and FARC runaways. Cage fights, not the kind where you fight to death , but definitely the kind where people bet on who wins and who ends up with a broken femur. I will train under a team of fighters whose Master takes a liking to me because of the "kindness" I show in the ring. I will develop a rivalry with his son who can never be good enough in front of his father and compete with him for the affection of the only female fighter in the team. In the after fight celebrations I will learn how to appreciate the local beer and the joys of a rare horse steak. Of course this will mean I will finally get to learn enough spanish to be able say something else than "una cafe con leche, por favor" or "ne habla mucho espanol" or "donde esta el banos" . I will be a polyglot who will be able to say polyglot in several languages.

Several months later , I will end up in a small village in Okinawa where I start learning Kendo & Kyudo under a Blind Sensei (obviously). At night when I stand famished and exhausted, under a flickering oil lamp, with the omnipresent silence of the countryside, he would tell me what I did wrong that day and slowly segue into the story of how he lost his eyes, a tale that would bring tears to my own and unravel parallel to my present situation with me as the protagonist instead of the master.

I will end my cliche-ridden exploits in Korea where a chance interference in a street fight to save an orphan from a organ trafficking ring will land me an apprenticeship with Kim Jee-woon, director extraordinaire and slowly I will come to the stark realization that the Serial Killer problem as shown in Korean movies is very much real and I will race against time to save an orphan (the same one as before) from a gang of competitive and techno savvy serial killers.

...and then I will be a man with stories to tell.

My Life as a Zombie

WARNING: Long Post

“What would you say was your defining American moment? An incident that was authentically and unabashedly American?”

Ask me that question. I dare you. No, I double dare you. Cause, I have the answer ready. It would be the day Obama won. I was still in university and living in a rundown apartment on top of a bar. It was right in the intersection of two busy roads and peeked over the happenings on the street. We were all huddled over a laptop, five Indian guys living in a tiny 3 bedroom apartment that was legally supposed to house only three. The moment it became clear that Obama had won my roommate Prem Singh jumped with joy and started pumping his fists in the air. He, who sported an American accent even before getting on the plane to get here and whose only dismay was that he could not vote to aid his fellow democrats. Soon, there were voices coming from the street below. We looked out to see the guy from the apartment across the street, perched on the ledge of his window, blasting the national anthem on his electric guitar. There were some other students out in the streets, but the most conspicuous was an ecstatic chubby spectacled girl with curly hair, standing smack in the middle of the intersection like a traffic policeman, jubilantly swinging her hands in the air, waving at cars whizzing by and shouting at the top of her voice “We got it right, We finally got it right”. With a little wardrobe changes they could have fit right in the 70’s. The Punk Rocker, up in his apartment, serenading the Flower Girl down below. A somewhat Romeo and Juliet reversal. Quintessentially American, almost stereotypical, reaffirming (and shouting) their faith in Truth, Justice and the American way.

Well the other night I had an experience that would rival this one as my most American experience. We cannot deny that the world we live in is dominated by American pop culture. As a former British colony, whatever links we had to British culture are being phased out, for better or worse, as time nudges us farther and farther from the early half of the 20^th century. Going by Shashi Tharoor’s definition of Soft power, America remains the mammoth yielding and submitting everyone to the sheer potency of its soft power. Naturally I would be excited to be part of anything related to popular culture and getting to be an extra in a Hollywood movie was a chance I was not going to pass on. Ok, so it was not a Hollywood movie, but a Not For Profit film being funded by a South Florida Film Initiative. And it was not a movie per se but a short film (Short for short), about 30 minutes long. But hey, Art cannot be bounded by temporal or spatial constraints, even though how a Post-Apocalyptic (PA) gore fest qualifies as art is up for debate. Yeah, I played a Zombie. Actually the technically correct term is The Living dead, from an unwritten rule in PA movies that the word Zombie is never uttered or used. The Infected, Walkers, Ghouls and Stiffs are also accepted.

So how did I get there? Well here I was trawling through craigslist, when I found this posting that wanted extras for a day’s shoot. Of course it was volunteer work, but I would have actually paid them just for getting in on the experience. So I showed up on set at the time prescribed by the Production Assistant, Tim, A University of Miami student, and part time film enthusiast. I soon found out everyone there on set was more or less helping out for free and the crew was mostly U of M students. But for the first time I found myself on a movie set, an abandoned bottling plant run rampant by extremely talented local Miami Grafitti artists. The place absolutely looked the cold , solitary, unforgiving terrain that the directors envisioned in their script.

I was quickly ushered in to the make up tent, and soon found myself sitting in front of the Make up artist, Giancarlo. Now the thing about Miami is that everyone speaks Spanish and 4 times out of 5 is from Cuba or one of the Central American countries. So When the kindly bearded Miami native told me he was friends with Somy Ali (Yes , Salman Khan’s Ex from the 90s, that Somy Ali) I was taken aback. But he was for real. Apparently she runs a charity in South Florida, having given up on the glitz and glamour of showbiz. Now, I have never had any kind of make up done. So I didn’t know what to expect. Giancarlo told me I was the first Indian face he was going to do up and so he was going to spend some time on me. Sure enough, I was there for a good thirty minutes and by the time I was done I was turning heads, as much as a zombie with flesh hanging from his cheek could. I also got a good idea why Alan Cumming never returned for X-men 3 and What Ron Perlman and Rahul Roy had to go through when they did Hell Boy and Junoon respectively. Sitting still with your eyes closed lips pursed is excruciatingly boring. But what was even more tortuous was still to come.

They say people who have learned music hear chords and ragas where mere mortals would just find a melody. It’s a different perspective that you gain when you find out what exactly goes on behind the curtains. And its something you cannot unsee. Well let me tell you apart from the cameras, lights and dollys what laymen don’t realize is the sheer excruciating amount of just standing around. Yes, you just stand around, twiddling your thumbs while they get the shot ready. Now I am not calling anyone inefficient. This is just how things roll. Things take time and naturally you have to wait. So here we were a rag tag team of volunteer zombies – a film student, a retired chemist, an ex-cop, a civil engineer and a truck driver among others, standing around with burnt faces, ripped cheeks and amputated limbs. But the real soul of the party had to be Carlos a guy who was just driving by in a car, who stopped at the commotion, just to ask what was going on and was roped in to play a zombie. He was just so enamored by everything that he volunteered to help out the remaining days of the shoot as well. By the end he was actually announcing to everyone that he wanted to be a full time actor!! Turns out anyone can play a zombie. You just have to growl and move around menacingly. And when your face is hidden beneath layers of fevicol-like substance you lose all inhibitions. The big question was, were they going for George Romero Zombies or Danny Boyle Zombies. Romero considered the father of the Zombie subgenre with his “..of the Dead” series had slow moving, zombies with legs dragging and hands held out, while Boyle popularized the raging, wild, sprinting zombie in 28 days later. Turns out rabid zombies are all the rage now. As a film enthusiast Post Apocalyptic films appeal to me because in essence they say that what you and I deem as important, even monumental could in an instant become entirely frivolous and superfluous. Think about it, one day you are worried about finishing up a report and the very next day you could be holed up in a house praying for your life. Talk about perspective shift! It reaffirms that relativity is the only truth in life.

The shoot lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. We shot four scenes where we just ran around chasing people or as we zombies call it “dinner” and getting shot at. A SFX team was brought in to perform several stunts which included firing several guns at us poor zombies and setting one of us on fire. I hear the same stunt team worked on a new Charlie’s Angel’s TV show set in Miami which would premiere in Fall of this year. Gun shots, even blanks, are ear-drum popping loud. And you definitely need ear plugs if you are at either end of the gun. Finally one of the PAs shouted “It’s a wrap, folks” and we all heaved sighs of relief. We just wanted to get out of there. Most of us had to work the next day and I briefly wondered whether being “the living dead ” would qualify me for sick leave. Good byes were said and Facebook ids exchanged. Tearing apart a live human together can apparently make you close to people. I knew getting off the makeup would be a pain. While I tore away all the prosthetics, the blood and decay still remained. Giancarlo recommended a hot shower and lots of soap. I did not want be pulled over by a cop looking like this. But the best part of the day was when I pulled up into a Taco Bell drive in window and scared the bejeezus out of the employee. Also, sadly taco bell does not serve human brains.

All you People in the Hoooouusee!!

How Matthew McConaughey can make Good Movies

Matthew McConaughey is mostly known for insipid romcoms. So how do we help the guy out? How do we get the guy to make good movies. I took a day off from work and did some thinking and came to the following conclusion. The only way Matthew McConaughey can make a good movie is if he plays a lawyer of some kind. Allow me to demonstrate:

Lawyer.Lawyer.Lawyer.Agent to a movie star.

Ok so he was not a lawyer in Tropic Thunder but an agent is a kind of arbitrator and some one who has a client so that counts.

Plus he is playing a DA in Richard Linklater's next dark Comedy - Bernie , so if that movie turns out to be any good, we know we've got a sure fire way of getting our boy into good movies.

How Good I am!!

Let me just tell you how good I am.

• So I was just thinking to myself how good a director Sriram Raghavan is. Johnny Gaddar and Ek Hasina Thi are some of the best Bollywood movies of the last decade.
• Then I think how good Ashwini Khalsekar was in Johnny Gaddar. She is the actress who played Inspector Asha in CID.
• Then I realize the guy who played Ins. Daya was also in Johnny Gaddar.
• And that Ins.Abhijeet was in Ek Hasina Thi as Saif Ali Khan's friend.
• Ergo Sriram Raghavan definitely had something to do with CID. I run over to imdb and sure as hell, Herr Raghavan directed several episodes of CID.

That's how good I am!!

Should we expect ACP Pradyuman to show up in Agent Vinod

If Bollywood were Hollywood we would have seen CID: The Movie long ago!

Dos Goals

I have two goals in life. Well I have many goals, many missions and achievements to make before them, but at the very end, it is these two goals that will eclipse the others because of their scale and repercussions.

The first is at the same time noble, vain, naive, ambitious and impressive. The second is just narcissistic, vain and laughable and somebody should slap me for being so ignorant. The first one first, naturally. I want to build a city. A city on the western coast of India, somewhere between Kerala and Karnataka, for their lush green forests, but closer to Karnataka for the western ghats. We will call it Indraprastha. Now there is already a suburb of Delhi that's called Indraprastha, but when we (I, my billionaire buddies (who meet every weekend for a game of squash) and a conglomerate of MNCs) are done with the city it will be The Indraprastha. Now what we will do is build a city with an artificial history. The beaches will be littered with unfinished mammoth sculptures, The forests with dilapidated ruins of temples and palaces. The city itself will be built part old world style and part skyscrapers and all that. There will be cobbled streets winding through narrow lanes amidst old havelis and villas. And there will be eurpoean style squares. Roundabouts, lots of them. Statues. And I can't emphasize the statues enough. There will be one at every junction telling the story of the ancient king Sanghamitra who ruled over Indraprastha, statues from the indian independence movement, famous Indian and world authors, religious figures , The world's largest standing and sleeping buddha, A statue of Christ that will dwarf the Redeemer, and of course The largest Arjuna-Krishna- crisis of conscience in the middle of Kurukshetra statue. Also a huge central park-ish park filled with references to the greatest and most beloved movies of all time. And of course there will be the mystery trail ala Davinci Code that runs through the city and with clues embedded everywhere. Aquarium with singapore style shows. Done. World class transit system - Done. Can you say LEED certified city?- Done. A huge SEZ around the city to bring in people.The world's largest renewable energy plants. Double done.We will even import Chinese, Polish and Jamaican people to develop encalves in the city to add an intl character to it. And imagine all this in India.

The Second one. When AXN first came out in India, they would show all these movies at 1pm weekdays that would have decent production values but no known actors. It was only later that I realized most of these were Direct to Video flicks or Canadian and Australian films. Now I remember 2 of them that had plotlines set in the near future in which the hero is on the run from the authority for various reasons only to realize in the end that he was cloned/ pulled from time to act as a vessel for an old rich man who wants to transfer his soul into the Hero's body. Freejack with Emilio Estevez and Mick Jagger was actually one of the better ones and I think I saw it on Star movies. Anyway, that's my second goal in life. I want to be immortal. There I said it. Its the saddest thing in the world that we age, wrinkle, whither and die. Laugh all you want, but I actually think it could happen. The Feb 21 Time magazine cover story proclaims 2045 to be the year when Man becomes immortal. Now I haven't read the story yet, but I am guessing its something like Freejack. Now either you could clone a human vessel for you to transfer into or you could build an android and transfer your essence into it. Or we find out how to turn off the aging button in our bodies. If everyone starts doing it I guess that means the end of human reproduction since no one is dying anymore , and if people keeping on making babies, you are going to have very crowded planet . So everyone accepts that or we decide to populate other planets and moons.

Now I saw some movie that said humans appreciate life more because we know how ethereal it is. I see myself as more of a Angel/Wolverine-type living through the ages until I get tired of it and disconnect the cord kind of guy.

That's it. Those are my two primary-have to do it before I die goals in life. Oh, Not dying is the second one.

Trivia:

Has anyone heard of the Gladiator 2 script that was commissioned by Russel Crowe. It had the Maximus character being resurrected by Roman gods as an immortal and we see him live through humainties biggest events. The film ends with him facing off a gorde of alien ships in a robot suit. The script was written by Nick Cave, the Aussie singer, and it supposedly it works very well as a tragedy about one man's loneliness.

If I had a Twitter account

I am one of those who believe that Twitter accounts should only be operated by celebrities. People who actually have an audience that would be willing to know when they are in the shower and if they are clipping their nails right now. You and me, we should just stick to our Facebook and Gmail status updates. But if I were to have an account, it would be a nifty of getting some observations across which don't necessarily warrant a blog post. Here goes

1) The biggest tragedy of my life is that I can't sing.

2) Just got my clock radio working. No longer waiting in my car waiting for the NPR story to finish.

3) @ Pakteam : Shame shame puppy shame.

4) Got stuck in the elevator, right after a screening of Devil. Creeeepy!!

5) @ Kipling: thats pretty much the definition of a Pompous self-righteous Asshole

6) @U2_360Tour : Can't stop listening to "And the ground beneath her feet"

What's in a name?

I have a very strange sounding and a very rare last name. I know that. I have seen a fair amount of people twist their face and repeat my name with a bookended question mark.You would think, being Indian you would pronounce the D as in Indu but you do it as you do in ghoda. To be frank I am myself quite new to the name. While I always knew that Adimari was my family name and my last name on the birth certificate, all through school I was Arjun Raju. Thats right,two first names. If I was in Hyderabad, where Raju is a common surname, I would have fit right in. But I was not, so as it happened, my name got mistaken and mashed up with another similar sounding name, my dear friend and the next name on the rollcall, Arun Raj. So there would be people calling us Arjun Raj and Arun Raju.

The two things I am most proud of about myself, I can honestly take no credit for. One is that I am tall, and the other is my name. Arjun is probably the coolest name you can find in all of Bharat. Mallus are known for having horrible names, so in a sea of shijin, vijin, lijin, tijo, rijo, sijo, mijo, qijo my name does stand out. You know it. I am not being pompous, its just plain facts. If you are a Rakesh or Ankit or Anoop, you know that when you hear my name you automatically assume me to be better than you (I am not). The name carries expectations with it, responsibilities. People assume you to be a leader (I am not), they expect you to jump into a raging fire to save a baby or throw yourself in front of a bullet to save Nirupa Roy or climb a tree to get a kitty down (I hate cats). The bar's been set very high, I know and even though I am not living up to it, I would like to take a moment to salute those brave parents who choose mediocrity (whats my blog called?) just to keep it alive. Those who put on a brave face and decide to name there kid Prateek or Chunnilal or Sushmakumari just to keep these names alive. Really brave stuff.

Now, till Facebook came along I did not know that my very uncool sounding last name is in fact a name from historic Italy. I was friended by a whole family of Adimaris from Argentina and Italy who were very keen to know what their kin was doing in India. Of course there is no remote relation between the Adimari famili indiana and the italian ones but still its nice to know. The most famous Adimari of all time is one Ralph Adimari who was apparently a pop culture enthusiast , very much like me.

What About Miami?

What about it? Why haven't I written about my sojourns in the land of southern delights? Where USA comes for its spring breaks and summer timeshares? Of course, there's time or not finding any. I am also finding myself increasingly searching for the ideal situations for me to get writing. Things just dont seem to be falling in line. Anyway, so is Miami really the party capital of USA with its azure beaches and laid back life? Well yes and no. All the "partying" takes place in a place called South Beach, an island just off the coast of Miami which the Gods decreed to be most Partyistic. Since I am not a Party-er, I have viewed the place only through a tourist's eyes and while people might be drawn to the clubs and all, what I found appealing was the subculture of almost commune-like life that exists here with neo-hippies roaming around in kurtas and harem pants, on their $ 200 a month rented scooters and early morning free yoga classes in the parks. The City part of Miami is like any other with its sky kissing buildings being neatly maneuvered by a meandering , 2 storey high Metrorail, but with some breathtaking views along the coastline. Another beatiful part of the city is the historic Coral Gables which is a residential area with really old, tree lined spanish style houses and all smack dab in the middle of Miami. There's also places named Little Haiti and Little Havana named after the dominant immigration population, but its the cuban immigrants that have really dominated the flavor of the city. You have cuban cafe's everywhere with really enticing empanadas and cafe con leche. Spanish is the first language and English not necessary to get by. You have advertisments in both Spanish and English and in some parts of the city just Spanish. I get by with una and dos and Je Quero which means I want.

Even though this is all that the city offers, my life revolves around the Airport. I live and work at opposite sides of the airport and can see planes take from both my bedroom window and my office balcony. My apartment is so close that the roar from the engines stops conversations and pauses movies till the flight is on its way.

1059 miles. That is the distance from Miami Beach to Washington DC. I have been asked this 12 times since I moved to Miami by my Mallu friends.They are of course quoting an old 80's flick in which the hero pretending to be an NRI and is quizzed by his girlfriend's father to gauge his authenticity.

"How many miles from Miami beach to Washington DC"

"Miles and miles and miles" the hero replies in his accented English.

Reworking Shyamalan Titles

I spent the last weekend volunteering at the Florida Supercon and I noticed that a lot of the other volunteers were really excited for The Last Airbender. I am too and I hope its a big hit and he gets to make the thriller with Bruce Willis and Gwyneth Paltrow that he is currently shopping around the studios. Anyway it struck me that all of his titles could actually be titles for very different and very generic films. Let me elaborate:

1) The Sixth Sense: A sex comedy much in the vein of "The Ugly Truth" about how men and women want different things.

2) Unbreakable: The story of the "unbreakable" spirit of one young man with congenital "Insert Handicap"as he struggles to achieve his childhood dream of becoming a "Insert Sport/ Musical talent".

3) Signs: A romantic "its meant to be" kind of comedy about a boy and a girl and how fate puts them together no matter how much they try to get away from each other. In the end they realize "its meant to be" and boy stops girl just as she is trying to baord a ship to go off to do research in Antartica.

4) The Village: The story of a group of friends through the ages as they hang around New York's Greenwich Village

5) Lady in the Water: A small town in shocked by the discovery of a dead girl in the town river. Suspicions start flying and skeletons come out of the closet as everyone discovers its not so innocent a town as it would seem.

6) The Happening: A teen comedy about a loser who becomes the talk of his high school when he accidentally gets photographed with a Miley Cyrus/Selena Gomez type teen sensation. In the end his fame dies away and he learns the importance of being himself. Of course he gets the girl-who-was-his-friend-all-along-and-secretly-loved-him-but-never-told-him-and-he-was-too-blind-to-see-her-for-what-she-was. The film would be called The Happenin'.

7) The Last Airbender: a film about the airbending culture, a slang term in Kite-boarding for the really slick move where you use your board and kite to appear to float over water. We see the young kid who moves into a surfer town and gets involved with the surfer crowd and discovers himself through kite-Boarding. A coming of age/finding yourself/letting go type of movie.

Side note on Signs: The guy arrives at the port too late and sees the ship leave, as he turns around its the girl with her luggage. She never got on in the first place. Aaaawww!! so cute! Makes me wanna go strangle a puppy or two!

Bye Bye NJ/NY

I am scared of my boss. THE Boss, the owner of the company, that is. He has really thick fingers with rings on them and wears expensive shirts with cufflinks, like all rich people do. But when I actually had a chance to talk with him I realized how wrong I was. He was as easy talk to as anyone else in the office. That is one thing I like about America. No matter how old the person is you can talk to him like he is your own age, with the same air of familiarity. So about two weeks ago he called me to his office and asked me straight away , How would I like to move to Miami? Now my office is on the 30th floor. Beautiful NY skyline view, you can see both the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridge. I have a cubicle, and whenever I have to go to one of the cabins and talk to the really important guys, even though I am talking to them, I am actually looking just over their heads, admiring the skyline, nodding my head and jutting in at the right moments. But that question brought me right back to the room. The perfect answer at the time would have been "I need time to think". I said to myself thats what I am going to say. And I said, No I wouldn't mind moving to Miami. Like those moments when the waitress asks if you are ready to order, and you are not but still you blurt out whatever you see on the menu. I was going to Miami, then and there in that room, it was decided.

I cant get NY out of my head. Within this orchard of concrete & glass trees, within this perfect lattice of bitumen resides the quintessential notion of a city. It is a personal life goal to live in this city for some time. I like to think that this place has never changed. A place where time accumulates, layer upon layer, era upon era. That afternoon as I was munching on the Pizza bought by The Big Boss (he buys lunch for the entire office whenever he is in town) I looked down upon a nearby Building - an apartment, with its open windows. A lady was sunbathing on the roof/penthouse. A person had his bed propped right up to his window and had an amazing view of the denizens on the street. A baby grasping the window and trying to stand as its mother/nanny looks on. Another apartment was filled with books. Everywhere. All so Woody Allenish.No, Woody Allen is NYish. All those people getting to live their lives in the city, and I was going away. It broke my heart, it did, that merry rent controlled downtown red building.

So Miami it is. Where Dexter and Burn Notice take place. Tony Montana's town. I hear they show Mallu movies in the theaters there. It cant be that bad ,rt? But I will miss this place. I guess more than NY , I am in love with the idea of NY. The life it represents. There is you and the city and the endless possibilities of life. With Simon & Garfunkel playing in the background. Even when you don't want it to.

New York Commute Pt.2: Commute Harder

Why do people lean onto the tracks to see if the train is approaching? It is going to come when it comes, leaning is not gonna make the train engineer make it run faster or feel bad for arriving late. Its just some things people do. You want to tell if the train is here, close your eyes and just stand at the platform. When you feel the wind suddenly picking up pace, almost a gust, thats when you know the train is here.

I have 24 minutes everyday from when my office lets out to when the 5:54 NJTransit trian leaves NY Penn station. I have to rush out of the office everyday if I have to catch the subway. It runs at every 6 minutes during the evening rush hour and 4 minutes during the morning. Yes,I have timed it. I try not to get all tied up about being late, because ,hey , you get there when you get there. Right? But going to the office and to a movie are the only two times I am hyper , alert and really flummoxed abt getting late. It irks me to no bounds when the people in the subway try to get in even when its fully packed. Its a true measure of the nature of the people of a city how they behave in the mass transit system, and let me tell you from what I have seen , theres no difference between NDC and NYC. This last Thursday, it was a true case of Hexagonal closed Packing . You can tell if you are late at the platform by the number of people waiting at the platform, naturally. It was overflowing. Apparently an A-express was cancelled. So we all waited. The next to come was a local C and suddenly I saw some ppl running further down the platform. I knew it must be some newyorker trick so I followed them and the train stopped way down the platform and I was right in front of the last car. I got in as did the whole platform. It was hell. and the door closed and opened several times with the engineer pleading ppl to stand back and wait for the next train. Finally we started moving. The next station was Spring St. If we couldnt fit in ppl at the last station why bother now , I thought .But there are always ppl getting off , silly. And again, ppl trying to wedge in as much as possible. I couldnt understand how where they fitting in. I looked over to the other side to see if there were ppl spilling over from the doors and windows like a priyadarshan movie, but no. Some ppl were actually taking a run and plopping into the mass of human meat. Like a bucket filled to the rim but still not overflowing from the drops that keep dripping into it. At the next station I wanted to actually put my arms across the door and stop ppl from getting in. Cant you see? We are full. No more!! The crowd thinned away as we got closer to NY Penn. And what happened just 2 stops before NY Penn?? The train stopped for some reason. My NJT train had already left , so I was no longer worried. So we all just stood there looking at each other, looking away when abt to be caught only to catch someone else who was staring at us, look away. I saw two ppl discussing a blueprint and I knew they were brothers of the same cloth. Civil Engineers. Why does it make me so giddy to know that they wield the same sword, the same shields?? Nearby a curly haired dude tries to read from the book , a old black lady is reading. She frowns at him and he looks away. A stop arrives. People get off. We rearrange ourselves. And now the curly haired dude is trying to decipher the blueprints. He even rubs his chin in mock wondering. The new cargo of ppl has with them a large black man who pleads with us to confess our sins and come under the lord's shadow, offering his own story to convey the power of JC. "I stole from my mother" "What answer would I give , when I die and the lord asks me , How is it that you were a lousy christian but an extraordinary crack head " "i was beyond redemption, but if I can see the light , hail the lord, so can you". The subway comes with its own brand of entertainment. I have actually seen this guy before peddling the same "wares". Have you wondered what would happen if two eccentrics were put in a ring and asked to have a go at it? Thats what happened the other time, when a drunk guy started loudly agreeing with everything the large dude was saying, putting him off and then leading to a loud argument resulting in the large guy getting off at the next station. The drunk guy beamed triumphantly.

My stop arrives and I get off. I have 15 minutes till the next train. All around me food tempts me, calling out to me, weilding a magnetic pull on my wallet. I give in and grab a white slice and join the scores staring at the info screen , waiting to know which platform are they docking my train. I get on.The train enters the tunnel soon after and you cant tell when its out because its dark outside when it comes out, as dark as the inside of the tunnel. It stops at Newark Penn, a station I have had a long relationship with. People cram in, among them Punit Kataria , Lavesh Gupta and Samir Dudani, complete with the french beard he has had since he was 9 years old, only its a trio of desis who remind me of them. Thats how Ms.Marple solved crime , you know. She was old and had met a lot of people in her life and could compare anyone to one of those people and predict how they would act and how they would have acted in a certain situation. I can tell they are consultants. Oh how some F1 students detest consultants, who arrive here on a direct H1B. I pretend to read but I am listening to their conversation. The ever eavesdropper. It gets boring after a while and I stop. I try to look at what the guy sitting next to me is holding. He has fell asleep with his wallet open displaying his train pass. He has some 20 $ bills, a few cards and why is he carrrying his SS card around. Dude , not safe. I reach Edison where the train spews out the last of the FOBs, the H1Bs, the ABCDs, the F1s and every other kind of desi including me. I put on my cap and my gloves and crush the snow as I walk to the other side. And I wait for my ride. Squash awaits and arrogant victory too.

De-Evolved Technology.

I like to eat with my hands. If its Indian food , hands it is. Thats the only way to truly savour the dish. I cringe everytime I see an idli being dunked in sambar with a fork. That is so wrong. You have to prod it, cajole and coax the idli with your hands, tell it to make love with the sambar. Thats the only way to do it. No firangi instruments can bring out the true taste of Indian food. How can you eat a biriyani with just a fork? I have done it, but only under social duress and weak resolve. Are you telling me, that 4 pronged instrument can deftly include the perfect amount of raita,achar, crushed papad all in the same "nivala". You then ,Sir, are plain lying. I'd rather not go to an Indian Restaurant with a white person. Its just not going to work out. No people who know wouldn't call me a violent person or prone to anger. But you wanna see me flip out? I tell you if I ever see someone eat a Sadya with a spoon or fork, I swear to god, I am gonna go napalm on his ass.

Ok now being the master digresser that I am lets get to the issue of getting hands dirty. There are certain situations, where you would want your hands to maybe remain un-messy. Shaving for instance. I just cannot stand the gel and foam that you have to apply with your fingers on your face. You always end up using more than required and drop sods everywhere. What if there was a instrument that could help us lather better, it could be a small brush of some sort and the gel would be applied to one end and then you use it lather up your face. Smart rt? Lets call it the shaving brush. Wait a friggin second. There used to be just such a thing. And it worked perfectly. What happened? Somehow everyone decided that its just an antiquated redundancy. Didn't we. Now its gone and we cant find it. Lost in the annals of time. Tell me how is this moving forward, how is this progress.

Touchscreens are another thing that irk me. Can you imagine sitting all day with your hand raised in front of you like a zombie and touching and moving things on the screen ala the new touchscreen desktops from hp/lenovo. How inconvenient. I agree that the whole touchscreen technology can enhance the user experience manifold. But it shouldn't be on the screen but on my keyboard. Give me a keyboard which doubles up as a touchscreen and I will be a happy camper. You cant expect anyone to stand all day in the office and be like Tommy Cruise in Minority report. Not happening. Now maybe I haven't been watching TED as much as everyone else and what I may be saying might be no longer relevant but from my limited exposure to the touchscreen technology, this is what I deduce and feel.

A self aware dream

I am sure everyone thinks they have the best damn , strangest and quirkiest dreams ever. And they are right. We all do. Some dreams are just so compelling and thrilling that they could be movie plots. And we forget most of the details as soon as we wake up. That sucks doesn't it. The price of admission I guess. Well I think the one I had today was exciting cause it broke the fourth wall in a sense.

So its Tuesday Morning and I am at the train station with Teja and I find it oddly disturbing that the weekend just went by like that. I tell Teja that we must be in a dream because there is no way this Tuesday morning because I have no memory of the weekend. Where did my weekend go?? Teja tells that it is Tuesday morning even though he too doesn't remember the weekend. Then I show him my watch which says the time is 3:26 pm. Its the afternoon and we are standing at the train station thinking its morning, it has to be a dream. He agrees, and we find it strange that we are having the same dream. There are three other people at the station two girls who go to Rutgers and another one from my school who used to act in public service messages on doordarshan. She wants us to come with her parents on this hike that they are taking up a mountain that morning. We realize that the only way to escape this dream is to accompany her and do what her parents want otherwise we are going to be stuck in this time loop forever. There was lots more which I don't remember and a follow up dream where I tell some old lady about having this dream where I realize that I am in a dream. Then like all good things.. I woke up.

10 Movies I have to see in 2010

The whole of 2010 looms ahead filled with exciting possibilities and sureshot have-to-sees. Somehow most of these lists include movies from the summer and that come out in the first half of the year. This year will be the first time that i get to see a Sly Stallone, a Marty Scorsese and a Shyamalan flick on the Big screen. Let the good times roll...

1) Get him to the Greek

The only movie from the Judd Apatow camp this year, and which is being touted as a pseudo sequel to "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" with Russel Brand returning to his role as British Rocker Aldous Snow with Jonah Hill starring as a young music exec who must get him to the Greek theater in LA. There are lots of cameos and it is directed by FSMs Nick Stoller.

2) Clash of the Titans

If you have seen the trailers you know why this is on the list. The insane amount of awesomeness oozing from the 2 min trailer completely sold me on this film. This remake of the partial stop motion animated flick from the 80s (??) boasts of an impressive star cast and stars Jake Sully himself in his next action hero role battling medusa, The Kraken and Hades himself. Its directed by Louis Leterrier who's last film was the entertaining "The Incredible Hulk".

3) Iron Man 2

I am not a big fan of Iron man however the first film was enjoyable and this one too looks like hell of a fun time. Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell star as the antagonists to the charming Rob Downey jr, essentially playing himself as Tony Stark AKA Iron Man. Also Don Cheadle joins the cast as War Machine/ Jim Rhodes and Scarlett Johanssen as the Black Widow/ Natasha Romonov.

4) The Expendables

I have always bemoaned the fact that Sly and Arnie never teamed up in a film during the height of their Action hero careers. Well , Sly fresh off the success of Rambo 4 and Rocky Balboa has set out on a rejuvenated career path with The Expendables among the first of his projects. It stars almost the entire action hero line up from the 80s-90s as a ragtag team of special op guys sent to a South American country to overthrow the dictator. It stars among others Sly himself , Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Stone Cold Steve Austin and has cameos from two other big stars which is a secret that everyone knows.

5) Predators

The original Predator scared the living sh*t out of me as a kid. To the 12 year old me , the entire set up of being stranded on an island with an invisible hunter out to get you was a pretty effed up scenario. The Predator is not after some helpless teenagers but an entire team of special op badasses and still proceeds to hand them their respective asses. It was fun, scary and it taught me one thing "if it bleeds , we can kill it" a tenet I live by to this day. The second part with Danny Glover was also entertaining (loved the whole subway scene and the climax with the chase through the city and also the AVP reference) however the AVP films left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I had heard of a Predators 3 script existing out there, with Arnie's character Dutch hunting/getting hunted by a predator in a snowed out NYC. That would have been awesome to watch but I guess that is not happening. However I have got this flick to wait for which stars Adrian Brody, Topher Grace and Mr.Machete himself.

6) Shutter Island

Well this movie was on my list last year but sadly it got pushed to this year from a late nov release date last year. Leo D reteams with Marty Scorsese, Mark Ruffalo and the lovely Emily Mortimer. Watching the trailer has made me a bit jaded but you know its going to be a good movie. Its Marty friggin Scorsese fer God's sake. If I were walking down the road one day and someone comes up to me and asks me "When was the first time you saw a Scorsese film in the theater?" , I will actually have an answer rather than wondering why this random guy is asking me this question.

7) Inception

Who doesn't want to see the next film from the director of "The Dark Knight". A crime thriller set in the architecture of your mind, or so they say.Who's in. Me!! Leo DiCaprio , Joseph Gordan Levitt, Cillian Murphy and Ellen page , that has to be the best cast this year rt after The Expendables. From the trailer it appears Leo D and Ellen Page are out to steal ideas from inside people's heads . Cillian Murphy is his boss of some sort and Joseph Gordan Levitt is the person who guards the idea. I cant wait for it. My most anticipated movie of the year.

8) Green Zone

Matt Damon reunites with his Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum director for this war flick set in Iraq about a conspiracy to seek out non existent WMDs. Matt Damon is a military officer who is sent to look for WMDs and realizes there aren't any. It was all a ploy for some military contractor to make money. Based on a book by an Indian American journo. Desis rule!!!

9) The Last Airbender

You know who gets flak all the time? Manoj Night Shyamalan. I have liked or loved all his films save for "The Happening" which, while I did understand what he was trying to convey (one fine day an invisible force unleashes itself on you , how do you defeat something you cannot see or touch) , and if that had properly gotten through , the finished product would have made one heck of a film. Unbreakable is one of my all time favorite films and I hold him among my favorite director. And hey he is Half Mallu and that always gets points in my book ;) . I have seen the cartoon on Nick on which this movie is based and though it feels like it is a powerful story with a rich mythology I have never seen a complete episode. So come Summer 2010, not only am i going to enter the Mythology of Avatar: The Last Airbender , but I am also going to see my first MNS flick on the big screen.

10) Paul

The director of Superbad joins up with the stars of "Shaun of the dead" and "Hot Fuzz" in this flick about two Brit geeks who run into a stranded alien named Paul. Sound exciting?? No? This film has so much comedic talent riding on it , it is a definite must watch on my list.

11) The Other guys

Will Ferrel teams up with the only director he should ever work with Adam McKay (Step Brothers, Anchorman) in this flick about two overlooked NYC cops (Ferrel and Mark "y Mark" Wahlberg ) who get a chance to step up to the limelight and be like their idols (Dwayne Johnson & Sam Jackon)

Also must watch : Robin Hood (Russel Crowe + Ridley Scott tackle medieval militia. After The Kingdom of heaven and Gladiator , it is my religious duty to see it on the big screen), Fighter, Red , Black Swan ( Coming off from The Wrestler, Mr. Aranofsky tackles a thriller starring Natalie Portman) , Piranha 3D (Alexandra Aja has a good track record of solid thrillers/ horror movies plus this is the franchise which gave James Cameron his first big break), The Cabin in the Woods, Your Highness, The Town, Kick Ass, Cemetry Junction, Agent Vinod

PS: on a related note , 2009 for me was a year when several proven directors failed to deliver as I noted in my previous post. However I forgot to mention the one movie that would have to top the list. Rakeysh Om Prakash mehra coming off from RDB had the world of expectation riding on his shoulder's and his ode to the Delhi of his childhood , Delhi 6 failed to deliver what I or the gen public desired. Its an Okay flick I guess but I did not enjoy it on the level I expected to. The whole Monkey Man bringing out our inner insecurities and failings might have made for some excellent drama but it failed to live upto my expectations. The picturization of "Dil gira dafatan" and the Ram Lila were for me the most memorable parts.

Time for some...

......Penn station humour.

Invictus

Have I ever lived alone? No. I have been away from dear ol' Delhi for the last 6 and dot five years, but I have always had hostel mates or roommates for company. But my roommate is now visiting India, and as I sit alone in this quiet Highland Park apartment, I wonder, how would it be if I were to live alone. How I keep my place when I live alone would be the true mirror of who I am. We have made compromises on the state of affairs when we live with roommates, a plate left unwashed , a bathtub left unscrubbed (for weeks). And in spite of all that we agree this is not how our houses back home in Hindustan are. We would never label ourselves as unclean. Why mentally assure yourself that you are better than your roomies, when you clearly aren't being? Why live a certain way if that is not you. Why compromise.

I just came back from a screening of Invictus. I would call it Mr.Eastwood's most underwhelming flick since he shifted gears from thrillers to drama. Anyway, there is a line oft repeated in the movie. Its from the poem that gives the film its name.

" I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my ship"

It says a lot about how we are programmed from birth. We have mistakenly formed habits that weigh us down rather than accelerating us ahead. It is amazing how much I can eat when a craving hits, or how long I can procrastinate when something looms ahead. Its not because we are weak its because we have conditioned ourselves. It could happen the other way. I could have programmed myself to eat moderately no matter what or not wait on that assignment till the night before. In fact when I think of all the things a person can will himself to do , it is overwhelming. Like a Lego set, or a sheet of paper and a pen, the possibilities are endless. Why don't we spend every waking hour, being better, living better. And don't give me that "stop and smell the roses" excuse. It is about learning to appreciate the smell rather than smelling the bloody rose every chance you get. If I had the knowledge of these past 23 years with me when I was born I would certainly be a different person , as I imagine anyone would. Lets summarize the important life lessons I have learned:

1) Binging on foods and movies is not "enjoying life" it is setting up dangerous precedents to habit forming activities. The answer , like Mr. Buddha said , is moderation.

2)How can you be afraid of anything. For once you face it, it shall pass. It may come back to haunt you but the moment you fear the most is just that, a moment. It will pass. And that thought is emboldening.

3) Do not be afraid of girls. Go talk to them. They want to talk to you too.

4)Reading like crazy will make you suave and sophisticated like Shashi Tharoor. Then you can develop a baritone and strut around all you want.

5)Disciplining yourself , lets you know that your indiscipline are well deserved.

6) Nothing or no one is going to come and change your life. YOU have to cut down on food, YOU have to start writing that script and YOU have to better your knowledge of Civil Engineering.

I am sure life has thrown more lessons at me, but this is all I can think of right now. Ah, yes the one rule that has never been proven wrong. The one rule to rule them all. The one rule to bring them all. And in the darkness.. ok I will stop.

7) My father is always right. and I mean Always. There has been tons of things he has asked me to do and tons of things I did not because I thought it was uncool, or not the right choice at the moment or I was just being plain lazy. But each and every time his advice has been spot on. The thing is he sees the bigger picture, I dont. I am sure my progeny will ignore my advice the same way. Why God does it have to be a circle??

Ok That is all I can remember .

My Very Special Acoustic Evening with Bryan Adams

"I have 16 friggin records, pipe down people, Lets see if we can run through them all" - Bryan Adams on being barraged by requests after his first song.

I can honestly say its a dream come true for me. Bryan Adams produced the soundtrack to my teen years. To a puppy eyed 14 year old moderately plumpy guy Bryan Adams was God. My brother and I were mammoth fans. We knew all the lyrics, all the songs and his biography by heart. Since then I have wanted to see him in concert. Yes, he did come to India, but I just happened to be in a different city every time. But when BA decided to come to my very own backyard, The State Theater at New Brunswick, I had every reason to go.

I had fantastic seats, right in the center, less than 30 ft away from him, in front of the stage. He trotted onto stage at 8:10 , (ten mins late) and broke into "Run to you" right away . It was an acoustic show and so he just had one person accompany him on a piano(who was fantastic, btw). "In case you didn't get the memo, this is the band" he said pointing to himself and the pianist. He followed it with "Tonight we have the stars" , "Back to You" ,"Here I am" "Heat of the Night", "Lonely Nights", "So69", "Everything I do", "Only Thing that looks good on me", "Thought I had Died and Gone to Heaven", "Lets make a Night to Remember", "Not Romeo, Not Juliet", "Cuts like a knife" , "To really love a woman" "Christmas time", "This Time", "When you love someone", "Heaven","Straight from the Heart", "Cant stop this thing we started" and many more. Acoustic does bring out the best in his songs. There's a more personal connection with the audience and its mesmerizing to say the least. I am a bigger fan of his lesser known songs and I was happy to see him give some of them a chance. He has great stage presence. The audience was in splits , when he started singing "Cant stop this thing we started" like a country song. He said "Waking up the neighbors" was his second favorite album title, followed by what he wanted to name his second album but the studio wouldn't agree to: " Adams hasn't heard of you either". He recalled the time he recorded "Lonely Nights". "It was a magical time , I was 21, broke, in NYC. It was fantastic". He spotted two ladies on the balcony waving at him with their little fluorescent "concert thingys" and had them brought down to sit right in front of him. I am sure they will never forget that. While in the middle of "Heat of the Night" his guitar string broke, the pianist immediately covered for him while he quickly got his guitar replaced. I was a bit put off by how abruptly the concert came to an end. He said his goodbyes and rushed off stage. He came back twice, though. It also surprised me how I remembered the lyrics to even some of his less popular songs. I hate "All for love" and "The only thing that looks good on me" but couldn't stop myself from singing along. Towards the end, everyone came up to the stage and started flashing their mob cams. I cursed myself for not having a better cam but had to make do with grainy pics. Someday when I am rich and famous, I will get to shake his hand. Till then this day ,the memory of singing So69, along with him, will do. Now lets see if we can catch Simon and Garfunkel sometime.


20 to go

The Masterly Mr Master McMasterton

" Jack of all trades and Master of one". Master of Science that is. It was today, this glorious thursday morning that I presented my masterific project and mastered the last task which stood before me and my Masters. True some formalities remain but the groundwork is done. What's that? How does it feel to be a Master, you ask. Well not that different from yesterday actually. Did I do a dance of joy and leap around in front of my department? Did I take off my clothes in a huge F U to the system and establishment and run around Busch campus wearing nothing but my butt.Did I change my facebook/orkut/gmail status to the first line of this post(which I gratuitously lifted from Raghu)? Well, no. I did do a " I have a Masters you dont , nana - nana-na -na in front of Onkar and Srini. Other than that it was just another day in the life of a "student by day, crimefighter by night " person that I am. I spent the afternoon debating with myself whether a person with a Masters should be legally allowed to use the term Master in front of his name like PhDs do with Dr. and some overtly excited B.Tech guys do with Engineer in the way of Er. Hmm.. Master Arjun Raju Adimari. Well that would suit me if I were a child actor in a Rajesh Khanna- Mumtaz movie. Could I just call myself "The Master". Doesnt have a good ring to it , sounds like a Buffy villain or a Darjiwala. What I am is a very jobless person who needs to realize that without a job he is going to have a very hard time repaying those student loans. I actually have a lot of free time ahead of me. I need to apply apply apply. What else. Well a little while ago I promised my dear readers (all four of you) and myself that I would accomplish the task of matching the number of my yearly posts to the previous years. I am at 22 now , well 23 with this one , I need to put out 23 more to match the 46 I have put out each of the previous years. So people get ready for an exercise in namesake posting as I try to pass off whatever I can as a blog post. Here's wishing Master Arjun , All the best.