Squash-ed

If you actually think about it, its basically two guys smashing a ball into a wall. Repeatedly. A Wall!! one of the essentials of Squash is a wall. Can you think of any other game where you would need a wall?? ( Yes, Racquetball, but who wants to play a game where the ball bounces like a crazyball? ) But I love Squash. Looove it. Its a passion. The activity I look forward to the most each day. I cant believe I used to play Racquetball in the beginning , but the moment I played squash for the first time, something inside me fell in place, something came home and felt so right. I now detest Racquetball and it is only with haughty eyes that I look upon the people who jostle for a place in the Racquetball court. So why do I love squash?? I actually sat and thought about why I love squash. I came across the following reasons:

1) It burns the most calories , compared to any other sport. Something like 800-1000 per hour. Thats huge if you are trying to lose weight.

2) The sheer excitement. The hilarious and energetic fun. It is so much fun, that it makes me look for other physical activities that might match the fun.

3) The rallies. My god the rallies. I have heard of games where they have lasted for over 6 minutes. I would be lucky to get a minute long rally. But when I do, the pure adrenaline that runs through you as you make one shot after the other, trying to outdo the other. Its outta this world. That's what I play squash for.

4)Its also a battle of the brains. From the time the ball strikes the wall to the time you swing your racquet, that's how long you have to decide where you are going to hit the ball. In that split second you have to anticipate the other players position, how hard you are going to hit, where to hit the ball and where you are going to move after the hit. All that goes into every shot, Its like a chess move. You have to give him something he doesn't expect. Feign, decoy and manipulate and when he falls for it?....You ....are the champion... of the world.

5) One wonderful thing the game shows you is how a human body can move if it decides to , that is. The decision to take a far off shot has to be made in nanoseconds. Your body has to accelerate itself and carry you forward with unthougt of momentum, and maybe you may make it . But all this starts with that one nanosecond decision.

We have been playing for so long now, we know who the regulars are, who are good and if we could take them or not.I know who would send me packing. There is a Pakistani duo that kick ass. Rajat Mittal the king of all sports. Then there is an old uncle who plays by himself but has the back hand of a tennis pro and finally the lady from Hong Kong and her older guy friend who looks like Stanley Tucci. Anyone else.... bring it on , I say. Here's looking at you Onkar, Amey and Srini.

Things I learned from "Fashion"

1. Everyone in the Fashion Industry is hellbent on success, populated with low morals and promiscuous.

2. If you become the Showstopper (I dont know if this thing exists in real life or is just some thing Bhandarkar cooked up) you will end up a drugged up, whoreish wastoid. That is the price you pay for ambition.

3. It takes enormous amount of courage and confidence to be a fashion model even though your only job is to walk on a ramp with a pout.

4. Sleeping with a Black guy is the lowest point you can get to before realizing how much you have effed up your life. How Racist!!

5. Kangana Ranawat has an obsession with the word " Basterd". (spotted by Onkar)

6. Fashion is just like Corporate is just like Page 3 is just like Satta is just like Traffic Signal.

7. None of the above are even remotely close to Aan : Men at Work. A spectacular Crap - o - cobana featuring action scenes from several hollywood flicks, a climax lifted from the beginning of Face/Off and supposedly part of Bhandarkars trilogy of Prostitution, Politics and Police (Notice how they all start with P)

Falling

I fell. After so long, the mighty giant fell. I fell so hard it still hurts. But something about the whole incident makes me all giggly inside. Lets start from the beginning. Here I was in a new apartment trying to fiddle the shower knobs, to get the right temperature. I stood up in the tub and switched from faucet to shower. That very moment hot scalding water poured out with furious anger and great vengeance. Trained as I am in the ancient martial and mystic arts the very simplicity with which it happened took me by surprise and I was literally taken aback. As I reeled back trying to avoid the water, something from 7th grade physics came flying into my mind.My center of gravity realigned itself , and simultaneously my foot slipped under the slippery wet porcelain. I fell. It all happened so quick. Futile and desperate grabbing for some support, my arm hitting the toilet seat and dislodging it and me crashing onto the floor with thunderous sounds and bangs. Downstairs the sleeping Indian Graduate student woke up. Next door the Indian Aunty startled and dropped her Katori of cut Bhindi , while outside in the woods a raccoon perked up its ears, and birds flew away from their perches en Mass. Like a great Oak Tree I fell. Like Sirius Black through the Veil of Mists, only mine was a 3 $ shower Curtain, I fell.
I gathered my marbles (cough cough) and thanked God that I did not hurt myself bad. Nothing was broken , a tragedy had been averted. I managed to fix the toilet seat. Surprisingly my Pride did not go after the Fall. I felt kind of good about falling. There was a sense of surreality to the whole incident and about how quickly it happened. I couldn't stop myself from telling everyone. I fell. The last time I fell was a year ago ,on Somerset St, right outside my house on the snow-melt-icey steps. While my friend Onkar laughed at me like the little girl that he is, he fell soon after ,outside Delta Kappa Chi. Oh how ,I laughed like the little girl I am not. Now a day after the fall, while my bum still hurts , reality has sunk in at how bad it could have been, I have resolved to be more cautious while bathing,walking and moving in general.