Invictus

Have I ever lived alone? No. I have been away from dear ol' Delhi for the last 6 and dot five years, but I have always had hostel mates or roommates for company. But my roommate is now visiting India, and as I sit alone in this quiet Highland Park apartment, I wonder, how would it be if I were to live alone. How I keep my place when I live alone would be the true mirror of who I am. We have made compromises on the state of affairs when we live with roommates, a plate left unwashed , a bathtub left unscrubbed (for weeks). And in spite of all that we agree this is not how our houses back home in Hindustan are. We would never label ourselves as unclean. Why mentally assure yourself that you are better than your roomies, when you clearly aren't being? Why live a certain way if that is not you. Why compromise.

I just came back from a screening of Invictus. I would call it Mr.Eastwood's most underwhelming flick since he shifted gears from thrillers to drama. Anyway, there is a line oft repeated in the movie. Its from the poem that gives the film its name.

" I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my ship"

It says a lot about how we are programmed from birth. We have mistakenly formed habits that weigh us down rather than accelerating us ahead. It is amazing how much I can eat when a craving hits, or how long I can procrastinate when something looms ahead. Its not because we are weak its because we have conditioned ourselves. It could happen the other way. I could have programmed myself to eat moderately no matter what or not wait on that assignment till the night before. In fact when I think of all the things a person can will himself to do , it is overwhelming. Like a Lego set, or a sheet of paper and a pen, the possibilities are endless. Why don't we spend every waking hour, being better, living better. And don't give me that "stop and smell the roses" excuse. It is about learning to appreciate the smell rather than smelling the bloody rose every chance you get. If I had the knowledge of these past 23 years with me when I was born I would certainly be a different person , as I imagine anyone would. Lets summarize the important life lessons I have learned:

1) Binging on foods and movies is not "enjoying life" it is setting up dangerous precedents to habit forming activities. The answer , like Mr. Buddha said , is moderation.

2)How can you be afraid of anything. For once you face it, it shall pass. It may come back to haunt you but the moment you fear the most is just that, a moment. It will pass. And that thought is emboldening.

3) Do not be afraid of girls. Go talk to them. They want to talk to you too.

4)Reading like crazy will make you suave and sophisticated like Shashi Tharoor. Then you can develop a baritone and strut around all you want.

5)Disciplining yourself , lets you know that your indiscipline are well deserved.

6) Nothing or no one is going to come and change your life. YOU have to cut down on food, YOU have to start writing that script and YOU have to better your knowledge of Civil Engineering.

I am sure life has thrown more lessons at me, but this is all I can think of right now. Ah, yes the one rule that has never been proven wrong. The one rule to rule them all. The one rule to bring them all. And in the darkness.. ok I will stop.

7) My father is always right. and I mean Always. There has been tons of things he has asked me to do and tons of things I did not because I thought it was uncool, or not the right choice at the moment or I was just being plain lazy. But each and every time his advice has been spot on. The thing is he sees the bigger picture, I dont. I am sure my progeny will ignore my advice the same way. Why God does it have to be a circle??

Ok That is all I can remember .